A Thousand Nights and A Thousand Days
by Menacherie
Summary: A series of Sheldon and Penny drabbles that have nothing to do with each other. Most of them are prompted by the paradox drabbles community on LJ and cross posted there.
1. Cowboy After All: blue and yellow plaid

Penny's eyes were bright and paying rapt attention to the horses stampeding past them. She let out a gasp of joy as one of the horses inched past the one that was currently in the lead. She leaned forward, her hands gripping the metal railing as her upper body edged closer, as if keeping herself from trying to leap on the back of the horse that was galloping past.

Sheldon was quite sure that if he had even glanced at the horses since the race had begun he would have been easily been able to determine which of the horses would be declared the winner.

However, for reasons unknown to him, Penny had dressed herself "appropriately" for the event she had dragged him out to. Her hair was braided into two braids, and each of the ends rested on her clavicle and brushing up against the collar of the blue and yellow plaid shirt she had tied the tails of beneath her bust. She shifted again and his eyes traveled to the point where the metal railing pressed against her skin of her stomach. It was amazing how the tan of her skin looked against different surfaces and patterns.

A breathy gasp startled him out of his reverie and suddenly her hand was pleasantly gripping his arm. He blinked at the jolt to his stomach and wondered if this is what the others felt like when Penny's bottle green eyes centered on them. He realized she was speaking then.

"Sheldon, look!"

He thought he might have detected excitement in her voice, but all he could concentrate on was the way the blue and yellow plaid brushed up against the tan curve of her neck. His eyes finally flickered upwards to meet hers and was slightly startled when she leaned in then, a smirk on her face.

"I guess you're from Texas after all Cowboy." She drawled out in a voice that did _something_ to his stomach. His eyes widened a bit and he simply watched her watching him before she found something in his eyes and her smirk slid into a smile before she turned her gaze back towards the horses and leaned up against the railing again.


	2. Dodgers For The Win: big screen tv

Sheldon wasn't sure how he had ended up in Dodger Stadium, his long limbs squished into a seat between Raj and Penny, but he was positive it had something to do with the woman seated to his right. The baseball game was in full swing but he was trying to distract himself from the game by reciting first the Period Table of Elements and then every scientist known to man in his head. It was no use though and instead his thoughts were drawn into the past.

He hated being reminded of his childhood. Pee Wee Baseball had been a forced constant every summer until he had left for Germany.

Baseball still left a bad taste in his mouth, simply because the little baseball diamond his team had been given was continually dusty and devoid of any sort of shrub. The dust had often blown into his face, eyes and mouth, leaving him to gasp for breath in the outfield while Missy's bat cracked against the ball, slamming it over the simple chain length fence.

The bitterness of lemon snoballs after the game had never completely erased the taste, and had only served to make his hands both dirty _and_ sticky.

He was jolted out of his memories when his right hand was violently tugged on. He blinked, once, twice before turning to glare at Penny. He opened his mouth to ask what in the world she thought she was doing yanking on his hand like that, she could hurt someone for goodness sake, when suddenly her hand was threading through the hair at the back of his neck and her lips were on his.

His hands gripped the armrests of his seat, a shiver snapping his spine straight before he realized that _Penny was kissing him._ There was no movement from him for several seconds and then unexpectedly he was kissing her back.

It seemed like it had been light years, but the kiss had merely lasted seconds. He blinked at her owlishly, her lips reddened in a way that made his stomach invert itself.

Suddenly he was aware of the stares of Howard and Leonard, and he was sure Raj was choking on the popcorn that he had advised against.

Penny however, was simply giving him a smile and pointed to the large TV that showed the game for those in higher seats.

"Kiss cam." She said giving him a smile before settling into her seat and taking the box of popcorn from Leonard's limp hand.


	3. It Happened on a Thursday: Penny Caltec

Sheldon's routine is ruined on a Thursday.

Every weekday he walks into Caltech and passes the secretary. He nods and lets out a, "Hello Ms. Rand." As it is polite to do so, and then continues to his office.

However, this Thursday there is a problem.

He walks past the secretary and after saying his hello he pauses and turns back around.

Instead of Ms. Rand sitting at the large desk there is another blond, this one with bottle green eyes. He stares at her for a moment and watches her face curve into an amused grin.

"Ms. Rand is sick today." The girl, woman pipes up then. "I usually work in the engineering department, but there's two of us over there so I volunteered to work over here." She said.

Leonard finally makes his way in the building. He likes to dawdle in the parking lot. Sheldon watches the way he begins to twist his hands together and decides that its not worth watching his friend 'crash and burn' as the colloquial term goes.

He turns around then and as he walks to his office he wonders what her name was.


	4. Uh, Mrs Cooper? : twins

Penny grits her teeth when, while elbow deep in dishwasher water, a personalized ring tone comes belting out of her cell phone. She knows the ring tone well. Its the sixteen year old girl across the street who babysits for Jim and Leah when she and Sheldon actually manage to make it out of the door without their tag-a-longs.

Unfortunately for her, the baby sitter thinks of Penny like an older sister now, and calls her all the gorram time, leading Sheldon to personalize the ring tone for her so she can chose to ignore the calls if she so chooses. Now is not the time to ignore the girl, because she is _making_ Sheldon go to that play tomorrow night if it is the last thing she does.

Penny sighs and grabs the washrag off the counter and quickly dries off her hands before picking up the phone. "Joanna?" She asks politely.

"Uh, Mrs. Cooper." The teenager sounds a bit nervous. "I was just taking the trash out, and I dunno if you knew this, but I think Jimmy and Leah are making water balloons out of uh, _condoms._" The last part is whispered, and Penny palms her face.

A sigh escapes her mouth then and her eyes flicker to the window, where she had been listening to her children laugh. That should have been the first warning. "Thank you Joanna. I'll see you tomorrow night, but right now I have to deal with my children." She turns off the phone quickly and sets it back on the table before squaring her shoulders and going to the open window

"JAMES K. AND LEAH M. GET YOUR BUTTS INSIDE THE HOUSE RIGHT THIS INSTANT."

She hears a pattering of feet and suddenly the twins are shoving their way into the kitchen, muttering about who did what this time.

Penny looks at them both and shakes her head. "Where did you get those water balloons." She asked then, and Jimmy ducks his head while Leah defiantly looks at her mother. "Outta yours and Daddy's room." She said. "I knew you were holding out on me mom."

Penny bites her lip then and wrinkles her nose. She's quite glad that's all she kept in that top drawer. "You know better than to go digging through our room, and those are _not_ kid balloons." She said carefully. "They are for adults only, and if I ever see you playing with one until you're thirty you both get grounded for the rest of your life, do I make myself clear?" She asked then.

Leah looks a bit put out at that, but nods, before pulling Jimmy out of the kitchen.

When Sheldon comes home that night she grins at his bewildered face. "Why is there a large collection of condoms on the side of the house?" He asks her and she only shakes her head. "I don't think you want to know."


	5. Starry Night

She mentioned once to him that she and her father used to sit out on the porch swing and he would point out the stars to her. When she was younger she could point out Orion's Belt with ease, and the Big Dipper, Ursa Major, Ursa Minor, they were easy to pinpoint in the Nebraska sky.

It should not surprise her than when her father dies he can't manage to give her the comfort she really needs. She just wants a hug. An honest to god hug. Instead she gets a pat on the arm and a "there, there, Sheldon's here." She cries and buries her head into his chest before jetting off for the funeral.

When she gets back, she almost doesn't notice. The first night she doesn't make it into her room and when she wakes up in the morning she doesn't bother to look up. The second night though, she's too sad to even attempt to open up a bottle and she throws herself on her bed, face forward. She rolls over and gasps, tears blurring her sight for a reason other than her father's death.

There are little stars pasted to her ceiling. It takes a moment but she realizes that Sheldon's meticulous attention to detail has taken over her ceiling and she can point out several constellations, and they're all in the correct spot.

She falls asleep peacefully that night.


	6. Naming

The first time he mentions names, she's only five weeks. She rolls her eyes and tells him to make a list and narrow it down to ten and talk to her about it two months from now.

The second time, it is exactly two months from the first time. She sighs and listens to his list with horror. "We are not naming our child Leonard." She said, shaking her head. "I don't care if its for Leonard Nimoy, your best friend, or Bones." She paused then. "Spock better not be on that list either." She tells him with a glare.

Sheldon retreated and rewrote his list, and comes back when she's six months, another list in hand. By now they know she is having twins, so he has a list of boy and girls names. Before he opens his mouth she looks at him. "Nyota is very pretty but no." He twitches a bit and she smiles brightly at him. Again, he leaves and says he will come back later. "And don't even think about Lenore!" She calls after him.

Another two months pass, and he's got his lists in hand. She eyes them over and nods.

Two weeks later announcements are sent out announcing James Timothy Cooper and Leah Michelle Cooper into the world.


	7. Candy Cane Christmas

It starts out fairly innocent.

Leonard goes overboard this year for Christmas. Sheldon suspects it has something to do with the fact that Leonard and Penny are no longer 'awkwardly dancing around each other' as Penny said the other day.

Due to Leonard's inability to envision how a Christmas tree should be decorated, he buys too many candy canes. (The candy cane to ornament ration is completely off) After throwing what is termed a 'fit' by the others, Sheldon simply decides that the rest will have to be eaten, because he has been taught to not waste, especially during Christmas time.

Leonard halfheartedly eats a few, but soon they are sitting on the kitchen counter not being eaten. So Sheldon forces them on Penny, who delights in the fact that Sheldon is celebrating Christmas this year. (He isn't, he simply wants to get the candy canes out of his home without being wasteful.)

Penny quickly becomes addicted to them, and after crunching through the first five she realizes that they will last longer if she doesn't chew. Instead she starts to lick, and Sheldon can't seem to take his eyes off the scene. She's humming a tune to a familiar song, but Sheldon can't really hear, because her tongue just did this twist (his stomach does a flip) and he suddenly realizes he's staring when he's interrupted by Howard and Raj bursting through the door.

The days pass and Penny is not seen without a candy cane hanging from her mouth. The image is beginning to drive Sheldon crazy, and edging into his dreams. So he does the only thing he can do, and that is ignore Penny to the best of his ability.

Its quite hard though, and by the end of the week Penny corners him on the couch while Leonard is running errands. He finds it quite hard to breath, as she talks the small piece of peppermint is dancing around in her mouth and normally he would find this repulsive but he wonders if she tastes of something besides peppermint. He blinks and looks up at Penny when she falls silent, he scrambles for something to say, but he has no idea of what she was speaking of.

Penny quirks an eyebrow at Sheldon Cooper, speechless, and does a twist with the candy cane after an amused chuckle escapes her lips.

Suddenly he is there, holding her face in his hands and swooping forward to capture her lips. A surprised noise escapes her lips and he takes the moment to swipe his tongue at her lip and is surprised to find a taste of her cocoa in all of the peppermint. Penny begins to respond then, but there is the sound of the door knob turning and all at once, she is gone, but pressed up against his side, her eyes taking on the glazed look she gets whenever they watch something she dislikes. (maybe she's a better actress than he thought)

Sheldon does a double take when Leonard asks when he started eating the candy canes and nearly chokes on the piece that has been transferred to his mouth.


	8. Slow Dance

Suddenly there is a hand in front of her face. She starts, and then finds her eyes traveling up the long fingers and the deep navy suit and into the bright blue eyes of Sheldon Cooper. Penny blinks then and tilts her head. "Yes?" She asks him then, a bit of a smirk on her face. She knows what he wants, but he has to iask/i for it.

"I have been informed that I should ask you to a dance." He says, his teeth clenched together as if even asking her is causing him pain.

Penny smiles. "Yes, that i is/i the non-optional social convention at weddings." She pauses then. "Especially at your sister's wedding." She smiles at him then, but doesn't take his hand, he hasn't really asked after all.

Sheldon stares at her. "Well?" He asks.

Penny quirks an eyebrow. "You've informed me that you ishould/i ask me to dance, but you haven't asked me really." She smiles brightly when he glares at her.

He sighs, and Penny knows she has won this battle. "Penny Cabot would you do me the honor dancing with me?" He was grinding his teeth again, but Penny only laughed and took his hand this time.

Sheldon surprises her by leading her around the dance floor until he finds the perfect spot to dance. Penny has an amused smile on her face by now, but her eyes grow a bit wide when she realizes that Sheldon knows how to dance. Her body automatically takes the steps it needs to take while she stares up at him, confusion in her eyes.

"Really Penny, my mother is the sort of woman that would make me take dance lessons whether I wanted to or not." He states then, and suddenly he's dipping her and Penny's not sure what to think anymore because her world just flipped upside down.

Sure, she has always thought he was handsome, and the wayward thought might have slipped through her mind, but they were never serious thoughts. She tilts her head to look at him when they twirl and he frowns a bit then. The song ends and Sheldon is practically dragging her off the floor, glad to have the one obligatory dance over with. He sighs contently when they're off the dance floor and Penny just smirks and tugs on his hand.

He squawks, but here he doesn't demand much attention, his family is quite used to his oddness. She keeps tugging, ignoring his rant about pulling his arm out of his socket. She only stops when they are out of view from everyone else and she pushes him up against the wall.

He stares down at her then, his bright blue eyes confused. "Penny, what?" He starts to ask questions and Penny puts her finger on her lips and shakes her head. "No questions." She tells him and then leans forward to press her lips against his.

Later that day she catches the bouquet and Sheldon blanches while she smirks at him.


	9. life as a video game

(A/N: Something I thought up, sorta silly but felt like posting it anyways)

Sometimes- and if this got out she'd kill the boys- but sometimes she found herself thinking that life was just this one huge video game. Granted she didn't have an unlimited amount of restarts, but every paycheck was like collecting coins in game. Every time something unexpectedly good happened, that was basically Queen Penelope defeating the evil monsters in Regular Penny's life.

Of course the times where it was quite obvious that she was in a video game were the moments involving her boys.

Raj actually speaking to her for once? +1000 to social skills.

Finally admitting that this thing she had going with Leonard wasn't going to work? +1249 to courage.

Running lines with Howard without a leer or a crude comment? +500 to luck.

Her crowning moments of awesome tended to happen most with Sheldon though.

That Hug at Christmas? +1423 to gift giving abilities.

Getting him to meet Stan Lee? +1276 to stealth.

Making him dance with her at Missy's wedding? +459 to persuasion.

Finally, finally kissing him after those years of 'fights' and disagreements? +∞ to the love of her life.


	10. rain dancer

"Penny?" Sheldon made a concerned noise that came from the back of his throat when Penny slipped her flip-flops off. They were barely a block away from the apartment. The concrete sidewalk was crawling with germs, not to mention the fact that it was _raining_, which meant bacteria was practically falling from the sky!

Instead of answering his non-existent question, she smirked at him and scooped up her flip-flops before slipping out from under the protective cover of Sheldon's rather large umbrella. This time the noise was of alarm and not concern.

"Penny what on earth are you doing?" He squawked when she turned her head up to the sky. "Get back under the umbrella! Put your shoes back on! You'll step on a nail and goodness knows you've not gotten a tetanus shot in the last ten years. Or worse yet you'll get some terrible mutated sickness from the rain."

Instead of answering him, or better yet, listening to him, she just twirled around, throwing her hands up in the air. Sheldon watched as the hair that she had curled just so seemingly melted in the humid rain. He tilted his head as she did a dance that was foreign to him, but looked as if it was easy as breathing to her.

It should have been repulsive. She was prancing around in a dirty street on a dirty day, in soaked clothing, and with ruined hair. Oddly enough, Sheldon found it more entrancing than the ballet she had dragged him to, three weeks prior. The structured dancing should have appealed to him more than this, but her unstructured, free dancing was becoming increasing beautiful.

His musings were halted when her dancing came to an abrupt halt. Penny was standing in front of their apartment building, he had followed her the whole way here.

"Sometimes Sheldon." Penny started to say. "You just have to let go of everything and just dance in the rain." She gave him a blinding smile and then slipped into the building.


End file.
